4 Month Old Sleep Explained (sometimes 3 months too)
Countless parents come for help with their 4 month old’s sleep. Why? This article will explain why “good” sleepers sometimes turn “bad” around the 3 or 4 month old mark.
How baby sleeps in the early weeks
When a newborn falls asleep, she immediately goes into deep sleep (also known as REM sleep, but I will avoid too much technical talk because that’s one reason I made this website, so you won’t have to learn the whole history of sleep if you don’t want to (or can’t stay awake to!)). If you are interested in knowing more about our biological rhythms and how we do sleep in more detail, I highly recommend the book, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems). Newborns spend a lot of their time in deep sleep, which is why it is hard to wake them up (even to eat!) in those early days.
4 month old sleeps (and sometimes as early as 3 months)…
We all go in and out of light and deep sleep. As adults, we might change positions, look at the clock, or reposition our pillow. Up until now, you may have rocked your baby or simply given him a pacifier and he slept for hours without waking up. Well, at 3 or 4 months old, your baby is now sleeping more like an adult. Now when she falls asleep, instead of entering deep sleep, she enters lighter sleep, first. That’s why if you help her fall asleep, then put her down, she is likely to wake up because she isn’t in her deep sleep, yet.
4 month olds enter deep sleep…
Initially in the night, your 4 month old will enter deep sleep relatively quickly, within 30 minutes (this changes as we get older). However, as I said, we all cycle in and out of light and deep sleep. A child’s sleep cycle is about 45-50 minutes. So, your baby will briefly awake 45-50 minutes after she has been asleep. To put that in perspective, if you are holding your baby to sleep, you would need to hold her for at least 30 minutes to make sure she’s in deep sleep and then she might wake up 15 minutes later. Sound familiar?
Overall, though, your baby’s deepest sleep is in the early part of the night, so after that first sleep cycle, she might sleep just fine for a few hours. So, you’re golden right? Just hold her for an hour? Nope!
4 month old sleeps the rest of the night…
The technical definition of “sleeping through the night” is 5 hours of continuous sleep (i.e. no feedings) and many babies can/will do this by 2 or 3 months old. The beginning of the night is your baby’s deepest sleep and after the first 5 hours (if not sooner, depending on just how challenging he is), he will cycle between light and deep sleep, but not as deep as the beginning of the night. This is where the problem of sleep associations really come into play. If your baby needs your help to go to sleep in the beginning of the night, sometime after midnight or so, he will continue to need your help every 1 or 2 sleep cycles (that means every 45 to 90 minutes or as I often hear, every 1-2 hours).
Between 4-6 a.m., approximately, is the lightest sleep of the whole night (parents’ complaints alone make this true, in my experience, aside from my reading). In the very early morning hours (about 30 minutes to an hour before waking up), he will again go into the very deep sleep.
Although babies commonly wake up early, be sure it is truly their waking up time and not just this lighter sleep and that they are having trouble sleeping. You might notice they want a “nap” just 30 or so minutes after “waking up”. What you experienced was a night waking, not starting the day.
4 month old sleep regression
You might have heard about the 4 month sleep regression and wonder if your baby will go back to sleeping well. Some parents will be one of the lucky few whose baby will go back to sleeping well in 2-4 weeks, however, not all of us will be that lucky. For example, I find that babies who need a pacifier to sleep where you are replacing it many times per night do not stop needing that pacifier to sleep. You might get lucky and not have to replace it 10 times (maybe “just” 3-4), but maybe not. It is usually better to solve the root of the problem than to hope you are one of the lucky ones. So, maybe wait a few weeks, but if things aren’t better, plan to make changes. I talk to parents of 8 month olds and even 20 months old who are still waiting for their “baby” to grow out of their sleep problems.
4 month olds sleeping through the night…
How can you help your 4 month old sleeping through the night? Read this website (free article updates via e-mail is a good choice), be sure to check out my free guide, 5 Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night and/or get a detailed step-by-step baby sleep guide, which includes 2 of my e-mail baby sleep consultations, to answer all those “what if?” questions.
Share your 4 month old’s sleep story! Category: How We Sleep
Tags: 4 month, 4 month babies, 4 month baby, 4 month development, 4 month infant, 4 month old, 4 month old baby sleep, 4 month old sleep, 4 month old sleep regression, 4 month old sleep schedule, 4 month sleep, 4 month sleep pattern, 4 month sleep regression, 4 month sleep schedule, baby sleep, sleep cycles
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@Yvonne At 4 months, it’s typical to not have much of a
schedule and have a lot of inconsistency. Some babies can do a
schedule earlier, but in general, I’d follow her cues. Good
luck!
She used to put herself to sleep and sleep through the night.
Nothing prepared us for this change! We’re at our wits’
end!
@Tala Does your daughter know how to fall asleep on her own?
That is usually the first key to helping her sleep in longer
stretches. I am not saying she’s not suffering from reflux,
but if she’s on strong medication and her sleep hasn’t
improved, there is probably more going on. I’d probably need
to know more about what you’ve tried but it doesn’t
sound like she’s getting enough sleep at all. I hope you will consider one-on-one
consultations, so we can come up with a realistic plan for you.
Good luck!
My son, Nathan is now 4 months old. At about 1 month old his
pediatririon told us he had colic. We then would put him in his
bouncer, swing, or car seat to sleep. This way he was at an
incline. He was into a really good night routine… Bath,
massage, pajamas, I’d nurse him, then bed. He’d sleep
anywhere from 4-5 hrs. Until about 4-6 weeks ago, I hurt my back
and could no longer bend over to lay him down so he now sleeps with
my husband and I. In the beginning it was ok. He slept great! No he
wakes up every 2 hrs either crying to nurse or screaming his head
off wanting nothing to do with anything. I have tired time and time
again to put him in his crib, swing, bouncer, or even his car seat
… failing every time. He sreams his head off until I pick him
up again, nothing works! I don’t want him to get to the point
of no return and only want to sleep with us. I feel like he has
just gone backards. What can I do to try to get him to sleep on his
own and “through the night?”
@ Joelle- Have you check with your pediatrician to rule out any
medical reason for her waking and lack of napping? If you are
breastfeeding, I would try logging what you eat and how she sleeps
to see if you notice any patterns.
I have a 3 and half month old daughter. she does get 3-4 naps
during the day. but, she does not seem to eat more than 3oz each
feed and sometimes even less. throughout the day she eats total of
15-18oz. she is very playful during the day and sometimes takes 45
mins to eat!! exhausting. yes, i tried changing nipple size, but
everything is out. at night, i have been trying to put her to bed
by 8-8:30, but she wakes up atleast 3-4times at night and it all
varies. she finally does wake up at 6am, but since I get up so many
times at night, by 6am i can’t get up. so, she falls alseep
until 8am. i don’t know how to get her eat well during th
day, so she does not eat during the night. Please advise, I am
tired!!
As I sit here now sick with some sort of virus due to lack of
sleep, it makes my heart happy for some reason to see that I am not
alone with having a baby that sleeps like absolute crap now. I am
one to immediately think that there is some kind of illness
associated with any behavior change but the doc has ruled that out.
And it looks like from all these testimonies and other research
that 4m olds can apparently just take a sleeping schedule and throw
it out the dang window. Sophie slept like clock work from 9a-5p for
months and then one night- it was just over. After reading
Nicole’s info on sleep habits, my girl is totally doing the
deep-light sleep thing. She is now in her swing (which I hate but I
HAVE to get well) and slept last night 10p-4a which was kind of
her. However, I need to figure out how to get her back in her crib
and break her of her paci addiction. And ideas? I’m having
surgery in a couple weeks and am not going to be able to pick her
up for a week – 10 days and really really would like for my
husband to not turn into a zombie from waking and working 24/7.
I too have had a similar experience. Our daughter was sleeping
from 9pm-7am. She is now 4 months old and for the past 2 weeks her
sleeping has become more and more interrupted. She began by waking
at 3am. A few days later it was 11pm and 3am. Then last night
everything fell apart. She was up and crying at 11, 12, 3, 5, and
then up at 7am. I only got up to feed her at 3am and the rest of
the time we let her cry herself back to sleep. This took about
10-15 minutes each time. My question is, why is this happening? I
don’t think she’s hungry because she’s able to go
back to sleep without eating. She has never been a good napper
(only 30-45 min @ a time and I always put her down awake.
She’s used to getting to sleep on her own.) Should I just
keep letting her cry herself back to sleep? Should I put her down
for the night awake? Is she too hot? Too cold? HELP!
Hi, my baby is 3.5months and I had the screaming blue murder
episode the other night and was shocked and worried. Checked her
temperature, fine. I ended up having to give her some milk beofre
she settled again. My health visitor reckons it was colic.
I’ve made sure I’v winded her really well since and I
haven’t had a repeat. Saying that though I can’t her to
sleep on her own without rocking her in my arms!
My son is 4 months old. We put him down for naps during the day
about every 2 1/2 hours. He only sleeps for about 30-45 min each
time. At night, he falls asleep after eating (put down still awake)
and goes to sleep no problem. He goes to sleep at 5pm. I have tried
to put him down later, like 7 or 8, even one time 10pm. No matter
what time he goes down, he always wakes at 3am to eat. He’s
getting 10 hours of sleep, which is great. The problem is getting
him back to sleep after that. If i put him back in his crib,
he’ll cry. If I put him in bed with me he’ll lay there
and nurse until he falls asleep, but will wake up every hour and
will nurse on and off if I let him. I sometimes do, just so I can
catch some sleep, but need help getting him to go back into his
crib, so I can quit sleeping in the bed in his room and go sleep
with my husband. Or any ideas on how to “shift” his 10
hour stretch?
My four month old really needs his pacifier to get to sleep and
has only just started waking many times in the night wanting it
back! HELP! Do I just take it away from him entirely? I need my
sleep back!
update—we returned from vacation last week and decided to
do “baby boot camp.” (letting her cry it out). she is
16 weeks old, the pedo told us it was okay, and i was convinced
that it was simply a matter of her wanting to be held. so
far–last night (the first night) she only cried for 30
minutes then slept all night (from about 8 till 4am when i had to
wake her to feed her because i was so full of milk!) and tonight
she cried for 50 minutes.
today she napped really well too!
i highly recommend “healthy sleep habits, happy child”
by dr. marc weissbluth.
As I write the tears roll down my cheek. I am so tired!! My 4
month old wakes every hour and will not go back to sleep unless I
bring her into bed with us and breastfeed her. But she constantly
moves around keeping me awake and it seems like neither of us sleep
all night. I try to put her in her cosleeper but she doesn’t
like it. Of course. Some nights she will sleep in it for maybe 2
hours if I am lucky. So I can try to let her cry it out but she
will not stop until I pick her up and breastfeed her. I also give
her one bottle at night of formula to help her go back to sleep. I
feel so bad for her and for us. We are all sleep deprived and
cranky. During the day she hardly ever naps. Maybe one nap every
couple days for an hour. Ikes! This just doesn’t seem
normal.
My baby is 4 month-old and she will fall asleep and the next
moment she will wake up screaming “blue murder” tears
running and everything!
Can you tell me why this happens and how can i help her to get
throug thise?
My baby is 4 months old, breastfed. Her nap schedule is changing
for the past 2 weeks. She would wake for about 45 minutes to an
hour, then nap for an hour, then wake again for another hour and
nap again for another hour (sometimes her wake time is between
30-45 minutes)…this cycle repeats itself basically from the
time she gets up (around 8-8:30) to 6:00pm. But when she is up, she
is happy. However, she used to be able to nap for at least two
hours at a time. She is doing well with her bedtime schedule
(around 8:00pm) though. Should I try to implement a nap schedule as
well? Would that help? It would be great if she could stay up and
nap a bit longer each time as I am feeding her every time she gets
up, which is every two hours, but I’m not sure
if that’s too much. Please advise. Thanks.
The best thing for me is ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. My 4 month
old sleeps 10 hours at night from 9pm to 7am. During the day
she’s on an eat, play, sleep schedule and I’ve gotten
her on a 3-4 hour feeding schedule. To me, the trick is to make
sure that they are full, not just satisfied. I let her tell me when
she’s done eat (pushing the bottle away or falling asleep.) I
let her play after she eats. When I see her yawn or rub her face I
put her in her crib immediately. She’ll normally
“talk” or whine for 5-10 minutes and then she sleeps
for a good 2-3 hours at a time before we repeat the process. At
night, we give her a bath using the lavender bedtime wash, then
give her a baby massage with the lavender bedtime lotion, put on a
fresh diaper and some pajamas, read a book, give her a bottle and
when she’s finished we put her in her crib. She normally goes
right to sleep without a pacifier or even “talking” and
will be out for 10 hours. I may just have a good baby, but I
believe that Routine is KEY. I hope that maybe this helps to see
what other moms are doing! GOOD LUCK!!
My baby hardly ever would sleep! He is three months now and his
first strech of sleep he can usually make it to 4 and half to five
hours. It has helped me greatly to not put him to bed to soon, I
feed him and rock him to sleep. Sometimes I would be putting him
down to early and he would cry.
Another thing that is working really well is pushing him around in
the stroller till he falls asleep and he will just sleep their till
he wakes up!
Sorry I also meant to say try infacol, gripe water or colief.
Infacol is working for me.
@Tala Does your daughter know how to fall asleep on her own?
That is a good first step to rule out why exactly she is waking so
frequently at night. Waking every 2 hours at night could just be
the issue of she doesn’t know HOW to go back to sleep without
your help. Solve that problem and she will most likely sleep in
longer stretches. Good luck!
Yvonne, I have exact same issue like you. My almost 4 month old
little girl can not stay awake for more than 1h30, sometimes just
only 40mins and she was already grumpy just 20 minutes after she
woke up from her nap. Like today, she had 6 naps from 8.40am until
5.30pm. The longest stretch was 1 hours and shortest was 25mins.
Longest awake spell was 1h55 (once) and shortest was 20 mins
(twice), the rest was 40mins. I dont know if I am demaning too much
from her. She is a good night sleeper, from 6.30pm – 7.30am
with 1 night feed. But in the daytime, she is grumpy, crying just
after 20 mins she wakes up. I try to entertain her but I
can’t do all the time. My question is: I do really want to
set a nap routine for her (3 big naps a day and 2hrs apart), shall
I try to lengthen her awaking time even I see her sign of
tiredness? WIll it really lengthen her awaking time or just
irritate her more??? Please help.
Sounds very interesting and soooo familiar. I am looking for any
reasonable advise that explain the sleepless nights and frequent
waking. If I can establish a regular sleep pattern that would be
best. Thanks for the advise.
@Karen It sounds like you’re doing a lot of right things,
so I’d probably need more detail. I’m assuming
he’s no longer swaddled and bedtime is still early such that
he’s not over-tired. Once you do pick him up, do you make
sure he goes back down awake? It sounds like he is just having
trouble going BACK to sleep. My son mastered going TO sleep much
sooner than BACK to sleep, too. Just keep trying. Some “get
it” sooner than others. Hang in there and good luck!
@Shruti This could be a chicken and egg problem. She can’t
eat more during the day because she’s not hungry because
she’s eating so much at night. She can’t stop eating as
much at night because she’s not eating enough in the day. The
key here is to help her learn to fall asleep on her own at night,
so you make sure she’s not waking so much at night just to go
back to sleep and only out of true hunger. The next step is to
slowly shift some of the feeding from night to day, so it’s
not a huge shock to skip an entire meal at night. Hope this helps
and good luck!
Nicole, thank you for the wealth of experiential knowledge you
have passed on. My son, Nathan is 4mnths old. He started to wake 2
hrly at night crying and my evauation was that he was hungry ( was
also in line with 16 wk growth spurt). This is now (a problem- as
you would say) I bought a copy of ‘healthy sleep habits,
happy baby’ by weissbluth at yr recommendation and have
instituted ‘cry it out’. I did this when my 13 yr old
was 10mnths. It was worse this time but I did it and he still loves
me. He only fed twice last night between 6:15pm and 6am. Can I ask
why you have in yr 4mnth routine, feeding 2hrly and not 3/4hrly? Is
it because they r likely to have shorter naps bcause of sleep
changes at 4mnths and u want to stick to feed, play, sleep pattern?
I’m using the routine at the moment and he seems to fit it
well.
Thanks again you are an angel!
Natalie
@Natalie You’re very welcome and I’m glad you found
a solution with your 4 month old! Yes, I was trying to stick to the
eat, play, sleep routine, but many babies will vary in how long
they can go. In my naps book I try to provide more variety. It will
also depend on whether the baby is breastfeeding or formula feeding
sometimes, too. My boys ate every 2 hours for quite awhile (I
breastfed) but I know many babies can go 3-4 hours from early on.
They are all just so different.
@Kate I think it’s pretty rare for colic to suddenly
appear after 3 1/2 months. You generally see it start much sooner.
We all have off nights once in awhile, so if that was the only
time, I wouldn’t worry about it. Thank you for commenting and
sharing infacol and gripe water!
This is all sounding very familiar and somewhat re-assuring that
this is a phase! My son is 17 weeks and for the last 2 weeks has
‘regressed’ from sleeping 3 to 4 hours to waking every
2 hours. Over the last couple of nights this has worsened to waking
every hour or within the hour (after an initial approx 2 hour
stretch of sleep from about 08:30pm). I am breastfeeding
exclusively & 98% of time he will only go back to sleep through
nursing, tho often I believe this is comfort nursing to get back to
sleep rather than actual feeding as the feed is so short. The first
few feeds I move him back to the cot but later on I am too
exhausted and we end up co-sleeping. He will not take a dummy so
not sure how I can help him through this, or if indeed he needs
this. Three times a day he will nap in my arms for about an hour
and a half – if I try and move him to the cot he will either
wake immediately or anywhere after 5 to 30 minutes). I think he may
start teething soon as he is dribbling a lot too.
My baby’s sleep fell apart at 17 weeks, and it seemed to
happen quite suddenly…
He had colic as a small baby, and used to really come unglued at 6
pm. We would settle him to sleep by about 7 and he would sleep
until at least 2 or 3 am. I would feed him and he’d sleep
again until 6- so lucky!!! He started to wake up more often, maybe
3 or 4 times a night. We have a bedtime routine ( bath, massage,
jammies, lights out, breastfeed, back rub, crib). Now we are able
to just put him in his crib, awake, no pacifier, and he will just
chat a bit and go to sleep on his own (yay!). However, now he wakes
up at LEAST every 2 hours- beginning at 9 pm. I have tried to let
him sort it out himself and see if he’s not really
“awake” but no way. I have tried the “hush,
hush” from the side of the crib, and patting and touching
him, but he will not settle unless I pick him up. Once he is
settled (sometimes requires breastfeeding, sometimes just a cuddle)
I can put him back in his crib and he will go back to sleep
himself, only to wake an hour and a half later.
This has been going on now for 3 weeks, and I am exhausted. Am I
doing something wrong? HELP!
We also have a routine with our 4 month old, but it does us no
good. Just over a week ago, her nighttime sleep fell apart, and
it’s been getting much worse every night. She fell asleep at
7 pm after 30 minutes of trying and was up again at 8. We have been
trying for the past 1 1/2 hours to get her back to sleep by rocking
her. She’ll sleep in our arms for 30 minutes but then wake up
about 2 minutes after we put her in the crib. Tonight will probably
be worse than any of the past nights. (She’s normally been up
about 8-9 times a night. She won’t cry herself to
sleep–and she doesn’t show any signs of sickness or
discomfort.
My 4.5 month old son can’t go to bed unless he is put in
bed awake, at bedtime, in his usual-styled jammies and allowed to
fall asleep, unassisted (he has been going to sleep on his own with
this routine for 2 months now.) He used (past tense) to sleep for
7-9 hours and would wake up and wrestle around a bit until I heard
him and would feed him (he’d be all smiles in the crib) and
then he’d return to sleep for another 1-2 hours… All
that leapt out the window 2-3 weeks ago and now he goes to bed at
his normal time (8 pm) doing his normal bedtime routine but now has
been waking up screaming every 2 or 3 hours… He only wants to
eat an ounce or two – and will promptly fall back to sleep
and sleep like a log for 1.5 hours until he is wailing again…
it is quite puzzling (honestly) because I don’t know how to
get him any more routine than we already are… but I’d
love to get some sleep. Any thoughts?
as i type this, i have been holding my 15 week old daughter for
about 3 hours now so she’ll stay asleep… this habit has
gotten worse over the past week and i’m ready to start sleep
training her (let her cry it out) but i’m afraid she’s
too young? we let our son cry it out at 5 months old, and it worked
like a charm.
my daughter only wakes once to eat, but it’s getting her to
stay asleep at the beginning of the night that’s the problem.
(as long as she’s being held, she’s fine!) i bathe her
and nurse her at 7pm, and she’ll usually sleep in her crib
for about 45 minutes, then cries to be held. one of us holds her
for a couple hours, then we finally go to bed.
what do i do??
My baby is 4 months old and has reflux. my pediatrician put her
on medication (which is too strong and ineffective in my opinion)
but she still believes that i should not stop it. because of
reflux, my baby can’t eat a whole bottle or even half of it
without vomitting the milk, which made me feed her small meals
instead. she does not sleep much at night, if i put her to bed at
7-8pm, she would get up at 10 max, and doesn’t go back to
sleep. i can’t get her to stick with a routine, she sometimes
falls asleep at 11 pm or even as late as 2 am. she wakes up evry 2
hours, either to eat (because she’s never full) or because of
discomfort. and i’m exhausted, can’t find a solution to
this. on average, she sleeps a total of 9 hours max including naps.
my pediatrician says i should be patient but i can’t get
anything done. i feel i have no life at all. please help.
Can anyone please help. My son is 4 months old and my partner
and I are like the living dead. My son goes to bed fine at about
7.30 (he’s usually shattered by this point and really wants
to go to bed). He then wakes up about 11.30-12.30. I’ve tried
soothing him and rocking him but he won’t stop until he has a
bottle. He will only have half of it and then goes back to bed. He
sleeps for about 30 mins to an hour and then wants the rest of his
bottle. I’ve tried soothing him again but to no avail just
screaming and sccreaming. He then goes back to bed but struggles to
fall asleep properly and whimpers and fusses ( very apparent as he
is in with us as we only have 2 bedrooms and my 3 year old is in
the other). He then sleeps for about 2 hhours and then is awake
again and crying. He doesn’t want milk but will not settle.
He doesn;t open his eyes just moans and whinges until I lie him
with me in bed and then he will briefly go off until about 5.30
when he cries again and wants some milk ( a couple of ounces). Then
he will go back to bed til about 7. We are exhausted and I think I
will have a nervous breakdown if this carrries on.Up until about 2
months we had a few occasions of him sleeping through from 9ish to
5am but this has now gone right out the window. Can anyone please
help?
@Heather That’s great! I’m glad you found what works
for him. Continued luck to you.
@ Nara- She could actually be hungry or going through a growth
spurt. Babies this age will still typically feed 1-3 time per
night. You might trying feeding her 1-2 times for a few days and
see if it evens back out if she’s going through a growth
spurt. I would also recommend you check out the link I just posted
for Amy for additional 4 mo information.
My baby is 3 & 1/2 months old & is breast fed. He just
started on rice this past week & loves it. About a week before
that he started want to only sleep with me.He used to sleep from
about 10 to 4 wake up eat then go right back to sleep. now he wakes
up every 2-3 hrs. He wont go down for a nap unless I walk him. He
does everything he can to stay awake. I have to cover him with a
blanket till he is aleep then rock him before I can put him down.
He never liked to be swaddled. I’ve been trying to lay him
down & let him sort it out. But he just gets really mad after
about 10-15 min of crying. My friend said she has never heard a
baby get so pissed off. any advice as to what I can do?