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Pediatrics – My son will not sleep in his own bed Expert: Mary Pat, R.N. – 11/10/2008

Question My son has just turned 2 and for the past 4-6 weeks it has impossible to get him to go to bed before 10pm and he will not go lay down in his bed. Once he does fall asleep I am normally able to place him into his own bed. He will sleep anywhere from an hour to 3 hours in his own bed before waking up screaming for me, and will not go back to sleep unless it is in my bed. I am becoming exhausted and I am get frustrated in the evenings when he will not go to bed at a decent hour. My husband and I would love to have another baby, but we don’t get much alone time and it is becoming a stress factor on our marriage.

Answer Dear Amber:

In your quest to get some sleep yourself the worst thing you can do is allow a child into your bed. It is a terrible and difficult habit to break. Your son is not staying in his bed so that he can get into your bed. He is pushing your buttons.

The solution, and there is only one, is to make him stay in his bed. If he gets out of it put him back in and let him scream and carry on if he must. Under no circumstance place him in your bed. You may have to sit beside his bed until he goes to sleep and if you do that, each night move the chair further and further away from his bed until you are seated in the doorway of his room. The next night sit in the hall where he can see you and the final night, sit in the hall where he cannot see you.

He has to learn this is his bed and he has to stay in it. If he is screaming for you he is screaming until you cave in and give him what he wants YOUR BED!!. He has trained himself to not go to sleep.

This will be difficult for you and his Dad but you have to do this or it will go on and on. It will take 3 to 4 nights of standing firm to break his behavior. If you cave in and give him his way, then you must live with it and it will get worse.

Good luck.

Mary Pat

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