Sleep-sharing: The family bed
Sleep-sharing: The family bed Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board Last updated: January 2007 What is sleep-sharing and how common is it?
Co-sleeping, sleep-sharing, the family bed: Whatever you call it, it means regularly sharing a bed with your child instead of sleeping separately.
It turns out that many families sleep together all over the world. And it’s a growing trend in the United States. A national study published in 2003 found that between 1993 and 2000, the number of babies 7 months old or younger who usually shared a bed with an adult grew from 5.5 percent to 12.8 percent.
How do I know whether sleep-sharing is right for my family?
The decision to establish a family bed is a personal one: What works for other families may not work for yours.
• Your child’s health and safety are the most important considerations. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends against sleep-sharing for the health and safety of the child — but sleep-sharing advocates disagree. Read “Safety and Sleep-Sharing,” below, for more about this.
• Some people love the coziness of sleep-sharing. Others say having a squirmy child in bed with them makes it difficult to sleep.
• Some babies sleep better next to their parents. Others seem happier sleeping on their own.
Other important considerations:
Time for bonding For today’s busy families, snuggling in bed together can be a way to connect after a long day apart. Co-sleeping can particularly enhance closeness between the father or other partner and the baby, who don’t have the physical connection that a nursing mother and her baby do or may simply have less time to spend together during the day.
Night feedings Moms who co-sleep say it’s easier to breastfeed and bottle-feed with their baby right next to them.
If you breastfeed your baby, once you get comfortable with nursing on your side with your baby curled next to you, you may find that you barely wake up when it’s time to feed. You help your infant latch on, then sink back into slumber.
If you bottle-feed, you can have a prepared bottle in the refrigerator to give your child when she wakes up, then go back to sleep as soon as she’s settled.
Others say the proximity causes their baby to wake up more often to feed. And co-sleeping can make it harder to wean your baby from waking up at night to nurse or take a bottle. Breastfeeding babies, in particular, smell their mothers’ milk, and many develop the habit of waking repeatedly at night to feed long after they have a physical need to do so.
Your relationship with each other Some moms and dads discover that the family bed makes it harder for them to find time alone together to reconnect, or puts a damper on their sex life. Other parents say it makes them more resourceful and creative about finding private time.
If you share a bed with your child, you may need to plan for time alone with your partner instead of waiting for it to happen spontaneously. Depending on your point of view and how you’re feeling, planning for intimacy could be a drag — or a fun new adventure.
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