“Will My 2-Year



Q. My 2-year-old used to sleep well. But since we had a new baby, she gets up frequently. What can I do?

A. While a sibling is a gift to your older child, she may not realize that now, and sharing your attention, your lap, and your love doesn’t seem like much of a gift. Because 2-year-olds don’t have the ability to reflect on and talk about their feelings, they act out, expressing themselves through their behavior.

Toddlers who are adjusting to a new baby in the family often regress in one area or another, be it sleep, potty training, or by returning to more babyish behaviors, such as wanting to be held and carried or using a pacifier or bottle again. Waking at night also provides the attention they miss during the day and the reassurance that they’re still loved.

To let your toddler know she is still important, you and your husband should each set aside some one-on-one time with her every day. In addition, make her feel needed and included in caring for her new sibling: Ask her to get diapers or pick out baby’s clothing.

At bedtime, be sure to have a very consistent routine for your older child so she doesn’t become overtired and find it even harder to fall and stay asleep. Try to avoid postponing bedtime, which often occurs when a family adjusts to having a newborn in the house again.

When your child wakes at night, keep her in her room. Peek your head through the door to tell her everything is okay and that it’s time to go back to sleep. After the second or third waking, call to her from the hallway — “Everything’s okay. I love you. Time to go back to sleep.” Decide how many times you’d like to repeat this, then let your daughter know you are going back to sleep yourself, and stop responding. Another strategy is to sit in her room with her until she falls asleep, but without talking, singing, or cuddling. Each night, move your chair farther from her bed until you are completely out of the room. The idea is to let her know she is safe and loved but not to make waking up at night a rewarding, fun experience.

Claire Lerner, LCSW, is a child development specialist at Zero to Three, a national nonprofit promoting the healthy development of babies and toddlers (zerotothree.org).

Originally published in American Baby magazine, November 2005.

All content here, including advice from doctors and other health professionals, should be considered as opinion only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.

Incoming search terms for the article:

Incoming search terms for the article:



Similar articles

  • Baby Place :: rocking baby to sleep
    This is a very sensitive subject for many mothers, so please don’t be offended if you don’t like my idea (well, I suppose you are here for advice, right? ) Your daughter is plenty old enough to cry it out. You probably should have done this months ago. What is great about
    ...
  • Resource Links
    Baby Sleep – Baby and toddler sleep articles, advice, and consulting for babies and toddlers. We also offer a FREE guide to help your child sleep through the night! Baby Insights Day Tracker Try it Free! Track baby schedules, identify baby sleep patterns, first year photo album, keep track of breastfeeding, medicine dosages, diaper changes
    ...
  • Bedtime Routines for Toddlers
    Bedtime Routines for Toddlers Toddlers certainly have their own ideas about what they want or don’t want. Unfortunately, going to bed often falls into the “don’t want†category. Getting a cranky toddler to go to bed is no walk in the park. The best thing you can do is to establish
    ...
  • Toddler Sleep Routine
    Establishing a healthy toddler sleep routine is crucial for you and your child. Toddlers need plenty of rest during the day and the evening. Here are some resources for establishing a smooth toddler sleep routine. Toddler Sleep Routine Toddlers certainly have their own ideas about what they
    ...
  • Weaning Co-sleeping Toddler
    I would like to offer advice, as i have 3 of my own children and have had lots of support from health nurses here in Australia. Toddlers do not need to be breast feed that many times a day and night. Mostly it is a habit and comfort. If they are eating well they shouldn’t
    ...

Leave a Reply

Recent Comments
  • Clara Edwards: Our daughter had been an erratic sleeper (much of it our fault, in retrospect) and frequently ended up...
  • Emilio Gonzalez: Ferber does a good job of describing what happens when you sleep. Apparently everyone wakes up in...
  • Roberta Reid: I guess my main problem with Ferber was the way that it’s an exact, rigid theory or philosophy....
  • Amber Laws: We were careful to put him in bed before he was completely asleep so he could adjust to the idea of being...
  • Debbie Hubbard: Good luck.posted by dragonsi55 at 7:07 AM on September 29, 2006
  • Douglas Witherell: This idea that you can have a child sleeping quietly in three days is more to appease the parents,...
  • Robert Spangler: The “Cry it out” method didn’t work on him — what did work was something...
  • William Aguilar: The thing is, children are not interchangable. For varying reasons, some kids sleep well righr away...
  • Robin Kelly: We got a baby massage book and started “bedtime” about 30 minutes before we put him down for...
  • Jessica Miller: That being said, rdurbin already wrote down everything I wanted to say–especially the part...
  • Justin Schultz: An idea? To appease us? We spent many months with various techniques that didn’t work, Ferber...
  • Linda Allmon: The second one was a preemie (about 7 weeks) and it literally took years for him to settle into a good...
  • Tara Mccandless: But they do, frequently, until their child is asleep. Have you read any other part of it than the...
  • Darrell Jones: I agree with the being present and patting on the back and telling him it is night night time while...
  • Todd Mcclelland: I think even if you don’t use his process, he’s got a lot of interesting things to say...